Love From Afar: Dating Your Spouse

The best stories are built on conflict.

But I believe the most beloved stories are the ones where love conquers all.

Our story is both of those.

…………………………………………………

Being in love with my husband has always been easy, being together has been the part we’ve struggled with! If our life was a movie, it would most certainly be a comedy of errors, one of those almost depressingly sad, but underlying-ly happy romantic comedies.

On our first date, we almost died. Not long after that, I went to a different continent. When I returned, we had two glorious weeks together before he … went to another continent. This cycled continued.

He bought a ring, but didn’t give it to me right away.

I got a stack of papers. Papers that told me this time I wasn’t just going to visit another continent, I was going to LIVE on it.

It would be years before we’d be together again, and just when we started to think all hope might be lost, we might not ever find our way back to one another again … the stars aligned and “someone” sent us both to a new continent.

To start our lives together – We had almost two months with one another, but then it was time for me to switch continents once again. I’d be lying if I told you over the course of these years I didn’t feel lost or alone for a majority of the time, but I also felt something stronger than that –

I felt hope.

If my heart was a compass, you'd be home.

For the first time in my entire life, I found someone who loved me unconditionally. No matter how hard things got or how difficult the time apart became, his love was strong and unyielding. He loved me for me, for better or for worse, from near or afar.

It’s been thirteen years this May, and while the miles between us have lessened, we’re still fighting the same battle. Now, it’s only miles that stand between us, instead of entire oceans.

If my heart was a house, you'd be home

The strangest part about it all, no matter where he goes or how long he is away, he has my heart … and with him the girl who never had a home to call her own feels overwhelmingly at ease.

He is what’s familiar to me. No matter where we are, I am home.

People wonder all the time how you live a life like that, how you can sacrifice so many of the days you’ll never get back … and I would say to those individuals:

the magic is in the moments

Love doesn’t happen over the course of your lifetime, it happens in an instant. You can bottle those instants up and carry them with you for a lifetime, and if you’re lucky you will have enough of those instants to fill the entire nights sky … but for the rest of us, its those bright, starry moments that light the way and those faint hints of illumination glowing in the distance that keep us trudging forward, anxious for the next moment we can tuck away.

We try and make the most of our moments. To make them good, and strong, and bright enough to carry us through until the next chance we’ll have to make another.

Happy Valentine’s Day a few days early,
while you’re reading this I’ll be having a moment with the man I love before he leaves again.

If you havent heard the song, If My Heart Was a House by Owl City … I think after reading this post you’ll know why I enjoy it so much. Find it buried at the bottom of this album.

This is the final post in a series on dating your spouse, find out what the others had to say here:

Kids Activities BlogMy Nearest And DearestPleasantest ThingPlay Dr MomGlittering MuffinsInspired By Family MagMama MissLife At The ZooToddling Into Madness, Sense of WonderThe Educators’ Spin On ItLittle ArtistsHome Learning JourneyFrogs And Snails and Puppy dog Tails, Pragmatic MomMamas Like MeToddler Approved and Adventures in Mommydom

Stacy

Stacy is seeing the world in a whole new way – through the eyes of her children. She writes about the little things, the big things and all the “stuff” in between at Kids Stuff World.

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Comments

  1. says

    I cant find the right words to tell you just how much I adore this post. So I will keep it short and sweet. You always amaze me. Your love for him shines bright. And it is inspiring. Love you!

  2. says

    This is beautiful. My husband and I spent a lot of time on different continents while we were dating too. When we finally got married, I felt that we were stronger for all of the struggles. If we could make it through that, we could make it through anything. You story will inspire those who are dealing with the same issues with their spouses.

    • says

      Thanks Kristin, sometimes its hard to remember there are others out there in similar situations, and then when you finally speak out and say something you find folks all around you who understand and support you. Thats one of the things I love most about blogging. Happy Valentine’s Day!

  3. Lauren says

    I am so grateful I found this post, I am going through this currently with my boyfriend. I know it sounds silly but I have known him for 15 years we were neighbors once a long time ago. We live on different continents and sometimes it is so difficult, but we just spent an awesome month together. And I will be going to see him at the end of the year, it is so difficult not being able to be with the person whom you want to spend forever with. So your story is a beautiful love story so full of hope. Thank you for writing it!

      • Lauren says

        We are doing great, I went to England for Christmas and it was so wonderful having that time with him. He ended up getting stationed to SC!!! He will be getting home on March 8, and our super long distance relationship will still be long distance, but much much shorter. I will only be 3 hours away from him. So I should see him much more than 2x a year. I am so excited! Thanks for checking in with me!

  4. says

    This post reminded me of Luther Vandross’ song “House is not a home” — what a great song! Pinned the image of the house and text. So on point! Hope you had a lovely V-day!

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