Silly, yet serious

This kid ;)

sad

Silly, yet serious.

That’s the best way to describe this little one right now. One minute she is all smiles and giggles and and the next she’s soulful; deep in contemplation, so quiet and demure.

She’s changing everyday, yet it is me who seems foreign to her. It’s a delicate time for the two of us, I catch her looking at me with those big blue eyes, so uncertain and so speculative. I can feel her beginning to pull away from me now — not quite sure how my role as a mother is going to fit in to her big, new and evolving life.

I knew this time would come for us, but I never dreamed it would start so soon. I feel as if we’re in the middle of some pre scripted dance routine, one I’ve danced a time or two before … yet in much smaller shoes. My first reaction is to hold on tight and never let her go, but I know that is not, nor can not be the answer. Instead, for now, I’ve chosen to show her how much I love her at least as often as I tell her. To listen to what she’s saying and offer her the biggest gift I know how: all my heart and all of my head. I can use these two not to lead her in life, but rather to guide her down this new path she is carving out as her own.

Most of all it seems these days I am hoping. Hoping that some how, some way deep down on the inside, she gets me. Gets me in a way I never really got my Mom, at least not until I was a mother myself. I’m also hoping she might stay my sweet and silly serious little girl for just a little longer …

Us

What special moments did you capture this week?

Life in an Instant
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Stacy

Stacy is seeing the world in a whole new way – through the eyes of her children. She writes about the little things, the big things and all the “stuff” in between at Kids Stuff World.

Comments

  1. says

    Wow, Stacy! The last part was profound–wanting her to “get you”. I’ve always observed those mother/daughter bonds. The ones where there was a special friendship that wasn’t forced or expected. It was just there.

    I feel like with parenting that once I figure out one phase, it’s time to move on to something new. Sometimes much faster than I’d like.

    Thanks for sharing.

    • says

      Oh how I hope we have that bond! My sister has that with her Mom (my sister is actually my adopted Grandfather’s granddaughter … long story) and I want that so much for us. Time will tell I guess, but I think we’re on the right path. Thanks for the comment today Michele

  2. says

    What a great post. Now, how can I keep my kids from growing up? I’m not ready for that yet. I might be the only parent who wants to keep her kids 2 forever. :)

    • says

      oh, you definitely aren’t the only one!! Each birthday seems bittersweet around here these days, we just celebrate 3, 5 & 6 — seems they are all entering a new phase in life. Guess it will always be that way, but I certainly am not prepared. Let me know if you figure out a trick for keeping them little :)

  3. says

    Beautifully written! I once read that motherhood is a process of simultaneously holding on and letting go. It is so bittersweet to watch our little ones grow up!

  4. says

    Lovely post! My daughter has always been very attached to me, but lately that is changing. It makes me very happy and sad at the same time. She has just started going to her room and closing her door to play by herself. How old is your daughter, Stacy?

  5. says

    I just LOVE that first photo of your gal. It’s genius. Every time my Lil C snuggles with me or gives kisses, I take it all in, bask in it. Not a second wasted because I know it won’t last for long.

    • says

      thanks, she has her own style that’s for sure. Snuggle Lil C tight and tell him to give Momma a hug from me :) Miss you Van

  6. says

    Wow. YES! My daughter is 5 and I’ve started noticing this too! My son never did this. Not to me. My husband says he felt it with our son about the same age, but I never did. Now that our daughter has started pulling away at time, I don’t always know how to handle it. Like you, I’m just taking it one day at a time and letting her know I love her as much as I can and hoping like crazy that she Gets me.

    • says

      So glad to know this is a normal feeling, thank you!! Best wishes to you and I’m happy to hear Dad’s experience this as well. That helps a lot. I think my husband and my son have been experiencing this is their own way lately. So happy you stopped by

  7. says

    What a pretty and strong girl you have! My daughter is planning her 12th birthday party. One minute she wants to run everything she has planned by me and the next she wants me to plan it all for her. They do grow so fast but I get the feeling the mothers balancing act never really ends. <3

    • says

      Happy Birthday to your little one, it’s a delicate balance for sure — learning to let them do on their own, while still being there when they need us. Rollercoaster of emotions for everyone :)

  8. says

    Very sweet words. Yep, our children grow and change so fast! I have 3 and my oldest now is 20. I am leaving a comment here not just because I was touched by your words, but also because I was inspired to share something with you. So my momhood has turned 20 this year and for the first half of that I sent my kids off to school.(it was a very good school, no real complaints) The second decade into being a mom I took the plunge into homeschooling. BEST PARENTING DECISION EVER. I know that it is not feasible for everyone to homeschool, but I would implore you, that if you can,… DO. I think so many of us are so quick to relinquish our precious natural role as our child’s number one teacher. We give this away to the teachers and yard duties and peers. This may be the distance you are feeling. My youngest is 11 and it is just me and her at home now and we have such a deep relationship. I never had such with my Mom. My Mom is an amazing, fabulous mother. I couldn’t have asked for more, but she didn’t homeschool me. I have a front row seat in my daughters life. Now she is a tween and her world has expanded. It is filled with new friends and new experiences. She is on her journey. She is bold and brave, confident and kind, curious and enthusiastic. I would wish the same for all our children. Just consider your options and don’t let go too soon.

    • says

      Hi Tracy, thanks so much for your comment. My family is part homeschool at the moment. My son goes to a private kinder because I love what they do there, but both my younger ones are homeschooled with me. We’re only in preschool for now and honestly I don’t know where we’re headed. My husband isn’t 100% sold on the idea. We are planning to allow my oldest to give public school a try next year and just sort of feel it out and see how things work for us. My instincts say we are a homeschool family, but I want to explore all the possibilities for us. The more I learn about homeschooling and the more thriving families I meet and wonderful children I get to know, the more my heart pulls me in that direction. Thanks so much for your comment

  9. Sonya says

    I really like what you guys are usually up too. This sort of clever work and reporting! Keep up the great works guys I’ve you guys to our blogroll.

  10. says

    What a beautiful way to describe your daughter growing up! She looks really close to my daughter’s age–she turned 5 about two weeks ago. It’s fun to get to know you a little better–I’m going to link up something from my family’s personal blog in a few minutes!

    • says

      So glad you came Carla and yes, they are very close in age. Sweet’s birthday was at the end of February. So nice to meet you and get to know you better too!

  11. Christian Lee says

    Just stumbled on to your site and thought, “Hey, self! Here’s a place to show off your new family!” (Adopted these 2 in December ’11).

    Anyway, thanks for the site, it’s lovely.

    • says

      Yay Christian, congrats on your growing family. This is indeed a great place to show them off. Every Sunday, we’re open for Life in an Instant a chance for you to share your pics and tell us what moments you caught on film that made your week extra special

  12. says

    My youngest is seven now, and I feel this shift coming. It so hard to be a prat of this “dance” as you’ve called it. Beautiful post.

    • says

      Thank you Adrienne, thanks so much for stopping by. Can’t wait to visit your site as well. By the way, THANK YOU so much for being my 2,000th FB fan :) Big day for KSW

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