Silly, yet serious

by Stacy on April 15, 2012

This kid ;)

sad

Silly, yet serious.

That’s the best way to describe this little one right now. One minute she is all smiles and giggles and and the next she’s soulful; deep in contemplation, so quiet and demure.

She’s changing everyday, yet it is me who seems foreign to her. It’s a delicate time for the two of us, I catch her looking at me with those big blue eyes, so uncertain and so speculative. I can feel her beginning to pull away from me now — not quite sure how my role as a mother is going to fit in to her big, new and evolving life.

I knew this time would come for us, but I never dreamed it would start so soon. I feel as if we’re in the middle of some pre scripted dance routine, one I’ve danced a time or two before … yet in much smaller shoes. My first reaction is to hold on tight and never let her go, but I know that is not, nor can not be the answer. Instead, for now, I’ve chosen to show her how much I love her at least as often as I tell her. To listen to what she’s saying and offer her the biggest gift I know how: all my heart and all of my head. I can use these two not to lead her in life, but rather to guide her down this new path she is carving out as her own.

Most of all it seems these days I am hoping. Hoping that some how, some way deep down on the inside, she gets me. Gets me in a way I never really got my Mom, at least not until I was a mother myself. I’m also hoping she might stay my sweet and silly serious little girl for just a little longer …

Us

What special moments did you capture this week?

Life in an Instant
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{ 29 comments… read them below or add one }

Michele April 15, 2012 at 5:46 pm

Wow, Stacy! The last part was profound–wanting her to “get you”. I’ve always observed those mother/daughter bonds. The ones where there was a special friendship that wasn’t forced or expected. It was just there.

I feel like with parenting that once I figure out one phase, it’s time to move on to something new. Sometimes much faster than I’d like.

Thanks for sharing.
Michele´s last [type] ..Ultimate Blog Party 2012

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Stacy May 2, 2012 at 10:09 am

Oh how I hope we have that bond! My sister has that with her Mom (my sister is actually my adopted Grandfather’s granddaughter … long story) and I want that so much for us. Time will tell I guess, but I think we’re on the right path. Thanks for the comment today Michele

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Jessica April 17, 2012 at 1:03 pm

What a great post. Now, how can I keep my kids from growing up? I’m not ready for that yet. I might be the only parent who wants to keep her kids 2 forever. :)
Jessica´s last [type] ..Blog Party!

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Stacy May 2, 2012 at 10:10 am

oh, you definitely aren’t the only one!! Each birthday seems bittersweet around here these days, we just celebrate 3, 5 & 6 — seems they are all entering a new phase in life. Guess it will always be that way, but I certainly am not prepared. Let me know if you figure out a trick for keeping them little :)

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Zina :: Let's Lasso the Moon April 17, 2012 at 6:28 pm

Oh my, I nearly cried. What a lovely post. Thank you for being so open and honest & sharing with us all. XO
Zina :: Let’s Lasso the Moon´s last [type] ..Nature Made Musical Instruments

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Stacy May 2, 2012 at 10:11 am

{{Hugs}} Thanks Zina :)

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Danielle April 17, 2012 at 6:38 pm

Beautifully written! I once read that motherhood is a process of simultaneously holding on and letting go. It is so bittersweet to watch our little ones grow up!
Danielle´s last [type] ..10 Ways to Expand Your Child’s Comfort Zone

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Stacy May 2, 2012 at 10:12 am

love that thought process and I think I needed to hear it too. Thanks for sharing with me :)

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Rebekah @ The Golden Gleam April 17, 2012 at 10:25 pm

Lovely post! My daughter has always been very attached to me, but lately that is changing. It makes me very happy and sad at the same time. She has just started going to her room and closing her door to play by herself. How old is your daughter, Stacy?

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Stacy May 2, 2012 at 10:13 am

Thanks Rebekah, she’s nearly 5 but seems like she’s going on 12. Amazing how fast they grow

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VanC April 18, 2012 at 11:22 am

I just LOVE that first photo of your gal. It’s genius. Every time my Lil C snuggles with me or gives kisses, I take it all in, bask in it. Not a second wasted because I know it won’t last for long.
VanC´s last [type] ..Drive-by Houndstooth

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Stacy May 2, 2012 at 10:14 am

thanks, she has her own style that’s for sure. Snuggle Lil C tight and tell him to give Momma a hug from me :) Miss you Van

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Becky @ Ballistic Gypsy April 18, 2012 at 12:43 pm

Wow. YES! My daughter is 5 and I’ve started noticing this too! My son never did this. Not to me. My husband says he felt it with our son about the same age, but I never did. Now that our daughter has started pulling away at time, I don’t always know how to handle it. Like you, I’m just taking it one day at a time and letting her know I love her as much as I can and hoping like crazy that she Gets me.
Becky @ Ballistic Gypsy´s last [type] ..Gratitude * Liebster Award *

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Stacy May 2, 2012 at 10:16 am

So glad to know this is a normal feeling, thank you!! Best wishes to you and I’m happy to hear Dad’s experience this as well. That helps a lot. I think my husband and my son have been experiencing this is their own way lately. So happy you stopped by

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Storybook April 18, 2012 at 1:05 pm

What a pretty and strong girl you have! My daughter is planning her 12th birthday party. One minute she wants to run everything she has planned by me and the next she wants me to plan it all for her. They do grow so fast but I get the feeling the mothers balancing act never really ends. <3
Storybook´s last [type] ..Hens and chicks.

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Stacy May 2, 2012 at 10:18 am

Happy Birthday to your little one, it’s a delicate balance for sure — learning to let them do on their own, while still being there when they need us. Rollercoaster of emotions for everyone :)

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Tracy Sch April 18, 2012 at 4:24 pm

Very sweet words. Yep, our children grow and change so fast! I have 3 and my oldest now is 20. I am leaving a comment here not just because I was touched by your words, but also because I was inspired to share something with you. So my momhood has turned 20 this year and for the first half of that I sent my kids off to school.(it was a very good school, no real complaints) The second decade into being a mom I took the plunge into homeschooling. BEST PARENTING DECISION EVER. I know that it is not feasible for everyone to homeschool, but I would implore you, that if you can,… DO. I think so many of us are so quick to relinquish our precious natural role as our child’s number one teacher. We give this away to the teachers and yard duties and peers. This may be the distance you are feeling. My youngest is 11 and it is just me and her at home now and we have such a deep relationship. I never had such with my Mom. My Mom is an amazing, fabulous mother. I couldn’t have asked for more, but she didn’t homeschool me. I have a front row seat in my daughters life. Now she is a tween and her world has expanded. It is filled with new friends and new experiences. She is on her journey. She is bold and brave, confident and kind, curious and enthusiastic. I would wish the same for all our children. Just consider your options and don’t let go too soon.

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Stacy May 2, 2012 at 10:21 am

Hi Tracy, thanks so much for your comment. My family is part homeschool at the moment. My son goes to a private kinder because I love what they do there, but both my younger ones are homeschooled with me. We’re only in preschool for now and honestly I don’t know where we’re headed. My husband isn’t 100% sold on the idea. We are planning to allow my oldest to give public school a try next year and just sort of feel it out and see how things work for us. My instincts say we are a homeschool family, but I want to explore all the possibilities for us. The more I learn about homeschooling and the more thriving families I meet and wonderful children I get to know, the more my heart pulls me in that direction. Thanks so much for your comment

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Sonya April 18, 2012 at 5:02 pm

I really like what you guys are usually up too. This sort of clever work and reporting! Keep up the great works guys I’ve you guys to our blogroll.
Sonya´s last [type] ..Joanns Coupons For The Crafty In 2012

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Carla April 19, 2012 at 6:14 pm

What a beautiful way to describe your daughter growing up! She looks really close to my daughter’s age–she turned 5 about two weeks ago. It’s fun to get to know you a little better–I’m going to link up something from my family’s personal blog in a few minutes!
Carla´s last [type] ..Science Experiment: "Sparkly Explosion!"

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Stacy May 2, 2012 at 10:23 am

So glad you came Carla and yes, they are very close in age. Sweet’s birthday was at the end of February. So nice to meet you and get to know you better too!

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Christian Lee April 20, 2012 at 12:31 pm

Just stumbled on to your site and thought, “Hey, self! Here’s a place to show off your new family!” (Adopted these 2 in December ’11).

Anyway, thanks for the site, it’s lovely.

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Stacy May 2, 2012 at 10:25 am

Yay Christian, congrats on your growing family. This is indeed a great place to show them off. Every Sunday, we’re open for Life in an Instant a chance for you to share your pics and tell us what moments you caught on film that made your week extra special

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Bree @ Twinkle in the Eye April 20, 2012 at 8:42 pm

I think its exciting to watch the changes as they become their own little person. Thanks for linking up for Flash Blog Friday :-)

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Stacy May 2, 2012 at 10:25 am

you are very welcome Bree! Thanks for stopping by and leaving this kind comment. Hope to be back by again soon

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Natalie April 21, 2012 at 7:19 am

So freaking adorable!!! Ahhhhh!
Natalie´s last [type] ..My Week In An Instagram

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Stacy April 25, 2012 at 8:36 pm

thank you natalie

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Adrienne May 2, 2012 at 7:06 am

My youngest is seven now, and I feel this shift coming. It so hard to be a prat of this “dance” as you’ve called it. Beautiful post.
Adrienne´s last [type] ..By Grace Alone.

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Stacy May 2, 2012 at 10:26 am

Thank you Adrienne, thanks so much for stopping by. Can’t wait to visit your site as well. By the way, THANK YOU so much for being my 2,000th FB fan :) Big day for KSW

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