I just had to tell you, this was the best week I have had in a really long time.
Not because anything fabulous happened this week. In fact, in reflection it was an all around gloomy sort of week. Double ear infections, nightmares, children to afraid of the dark to stay in their own beds, a husband who’s gone, unplanned expenses maxing out my credit card, a body that wasn’t willing to work out at the potential I would like it to.
But somewhere in the midst of all that. I began to notice a change.
Somewhere inside of me. That instead of wallowing in all of the sad & bad, had decided instead to relish the good.
I marveled at how capable of a mother I really am.
Staying up all night for 3 nights in a row, taking 3 kids to the pediatrician.
Managing to fit in a full week of homeschool lessons. Making home cooked meals every night. Baking cookies with the kids and planting special herbs we’ll use to make ice cream this summer (cinnamon basil & spearmint).
Disciplining without being mean.
Having an indoor camp out.
The list goes on and on …
I also gave myself permission to do something I don’t normally do.
I put my wants first and stopped listening to my “outside self” when I felt overwhelmed.
Definition: Outside Self- You know, the “you”, you share with the world versus the real you on the inside.
Outside self: “It’s late, let’s just get take out.”
Inside self: “Um, Noooo. Will takeout help you lose those 30 pounds you’re so hung up on? You don’t even like the taste of those new fries in canola oil.”
“I thought you liked making healthy meals for your family?”
Outside Self: “Hey wait, I do like creating things in the kitchen!”
Blueberry Coconut Whole Grain Muffins
Chocolate Chip Pecan Cookies
Cherry Vanilla Smoothies
(recipes coming soon to a blog near you)
ahh, listening to that inside voice is so much more wonderful than my outside self.
And while I won’t pretend to be cured completely, hey I’m sure I will occasionally fall back in to my old habits. I’m confident I can find a way to make my outside self and my inside self coexist peacefully. Maybe even share the same wants, needs and values?